The Luck of Job Part 4

[dime_liora]

I have a friend who loves humanity,
Braves bullets in war-torn countries.
He traded a life of wealth to help the poor and ill.
He says "If I don't do it, nobody will."
And the high road's steady and steep,
And the low road's easy and deep.
Guess I'll follow, follow, follow my feet.
Guess I'll follow, follow, follow my feet.

Jensen cannot believe this.

He is either the unluckiest creature in the universe, or this is some bizarre punishment God is giving him for not getting the job done right away.

Either way, this is torture and Jensen is living every minute of it.

Jared’s family is…pleasant. Friendly. Affectionate.

Nice.

And worst of all they love Jensen, because Jensen has stood by their little boy when no one else has. Each one of them is as sickeningly good as Jared himself. Jared’s mother Sherri hugs Jensen so tight the breath goes out of him, and then Gerry his father takes up the slack when she steps away and pulls Jensen into another hug he can’t escape. As soon as it’s over he sees freedom in the other side of the room.

Only to be ruined by a giant that claims to be Jared’s brother and lifts Jensen off the floor before spinning him around.

“So you’re the dashing man that’s stolen my baby brother’s heart. With a suit that sharp I guess I can almost see why. If you’re into that sort of thing.”

Jensen can’t believe this. They like him. They’re happy he’s there. They’re happy Jared is there. The group of them gather together for one big group hug that Megan drags Jensen into, and then they bow their heads and Jensen is forced to stand still and quiet while the five of them pray.

Pray.

Jensen wonders what they would do if they knew all this hardship came about because of God’s whims.

But obviously he can’t tell them.

Instead he is left smiling and nodding when Sherri goes on and on about the blessings of the lord that they are all together and that as a unit they can overcome anything. He sits with them while they eat dinner together and chat. Eventually Jensen is drawn into the conversation, and has to start making small talk he’s already made with Jared but on a grander scale. It takes him a full seven minutes to realize that he is being interrogated.

They’re that good.

Jared spends the meal smiling, wolfing down what his mother brought even though he just ate two hot dogs and a bowl of mac and cheese four hours earlier. He occasionally kicks in and answers a question for Jensen, and Jensen is infinitely grateful. It’s too much too fast. Jensen has never done this before.

Eventually he excuses himself and steps out on the porch to stare out over the field behind Jared’s apartment complex. The grass is high and dotted with wildflowers, and in the fading daylight Jensen thinks their colors are particularly beautiful.

He misses plants sometimes. When he was young and human he would go out into fields just like this one and lay on his back staring up at the clouds. He would imagine what it would be like to control the weather, or to own the land he was laying on. He would dream of power.

Now he can control the weather. He can own any land he wishes. He can have everything he demands except the ability to stop being the devil.

Because he can’t bring himself to slaughter those annoyingly chipper people still sitting around the table talking to each other like Heaven and Hell aren’t conspiring against them.

“Jensen?”

He looks up to see Jared’s father standing back by the sliding glass door. He’s shut it, and beyond him Jensen can see that Jared is looking at his brother’s phone and making noises over what are no doubt pictures Jensen has no interest in whatsoever.

“Yes Gerry?”

He wonders if he’s supposed to call the man by his last name. He doesn’t know the rules here.

“I just wanted to say thank you. Again. For everything you’ve done for Jared.”

Jensen shrugs and then realizes that’s not a valid response.

“It’s my pleasure. He’s really special.”

And he means it.

“Yeah. He is. My children grew up very well, and they’re all good people. And it looks like they’re all choosing good people to spend their lives with.”

Jensen shudders a little on the inside, thinking of all the obvious responses to someone calling him good. He could tell Gerry about only a tiny fraction of his actions in the years he has sat on the throne and the man would jump from the balcony simply to escape the horror of it. Jensen touching Jared should be a sin.

“Thank you.”

Gerry smiles, and then he steps up to the railing.

“You’re not a member of the church? I think Jared told us that. Or he hinted at it.”

That’s an understatement.

“No sir. Never been my thing.”

Gerry laughs and shakes his head.

“No need for formalities son. Trust me on that one. I don’t know if I am either.”

Jensen feels his eyebrow arch up to his hairline. There’s no whiff of sin about this man.

“What do you mean?”

Gerry gestures out to the field that Jensen was just waxing nostalgic about in his own head.

“This is beautiful isn’t it?”

Jensen nods slowly. Not sure where this is going.

“It would take a real artist to make something like this. Someone with an eye for detail and beauty. Someone who wanted to create something grand. But even Hitler painted well when he wanted to.”

It takes Jensen a moment to comprehend the sentences together and garner their meaning, and then he bursts into laughter so unexpected he isn’t sure it’s him for the first few seconds. When his breath is back and he’s wiped his eyes he figures out how to respond.

“Are you comparing God to Hitler?”

“Hell no. Hitler’s body count was way lower. All I’m saying is that it’s easy to believe when you look at the design of things. It’s much harder to like the creator. Sherri has never had that problem, and I keep my opinions to myself. Some days I think God is a good thing, because he can inspire people to do great things in the name of justice and righteousness. Some days I think he’s a bully, because good people like my son end up in jail for crimes he couldn’t possibly commit.”

Jensen blinks. He likes this man.

“Yes. Yes that I can agree with. Wholeheartedly.”

Gerry smiles again, fatherly and warm, and his hand lands on Jensen’s shoulder.

“People of faith like Sherri and Jared need people like us I think. Without us they would let the world run them over while they waited for God to sort things out. I’m glad my son has finally found someone to push his hand without ruining his faith.”

Jensen looks over his shoulder again at Jared. He’s laughing, dimples carved into his cheeks and eyes lit up. He’s gorgeous.

He’s not for someone like Jensen.

“Thank you Gerry. That means more than I can say.”

They stand there for a while, comfortable in their silence, and then they go in to rejoin the family.

Jensen loses at Sorry fifteen times. By the end of the thirteenth he’s laughing with the rest of the Padalecki lunatics.


----


Jared lies in bed that night next to Jensen. His boyfriend is warm, solid, and Jared thinks that he’s waited long enough. This isn’t the best time of course. His parents are in the guest room next door and his brother and sister are camped out in the living room. The walls in the apartment aren’t very thick.

That being said, Jared has had a terrible time of it. Everything has been going wrong lately and he just wants to have a moment that’s his.

And seeing Jensen with his family tonight was the last piece of the puzzle. They get along. His parents adore Jensen, his sister thinks he’s too hot to handle, and Jeff actually told Jared not to mess it up and lose Jensen.

His boyfriend fits. Into the life he used to have and the one that he has right now. Jensen is perfect.

“Hey. Jensen?”

Silence. Then a grunt.

“Jensen I was thinking. If we were real quiet.”

Beside him Jensen shifts, rolls onto his side so that Jared can see the glint of his eyes in the little bit of light coming in from outside. Jensen’s hand, as warm as the rest of him, lands on Jared’s face and settles there. Strong fingers trace up and down the lines of his cheek and a thumb stretches out until it finds his lips and traces them.

It’s gentle, sweet, and Jared tilts his face into it to gain more contact. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth so that Jensen’s thumb sweeps into his mouth and touches the tip of his tongue.

“Jared. I don’t think we’re quite ready for that.”

That’s not what he was expecting. He can’t help but feel the sting of rejection.

“What do you mean not ready? You were ready the other night.”

Jensen’s hand retracts and Jared is left feeling alone despite how close the other man is to him.

“There are things about me that you don’t know. Things that…I’m not a great guy Jared. I may be the kind of guy you need right now, but I am not a great guy. Do you understand?”

Jared does, but not really. He knows that Jensen isn’t having second thoughts. He knows that Jensen doesn’t want out. If he did all he would have needed to do was leave Jared in jail.

“I understand that you’re telling me what you think I want, but that’s not how this works. I know what I want. I want you. I get that we’re not…on the same page when it comes to some things but I’m ok with that.  I like you Jensen. You. Isn’t that enough?”

“I’m the devil.”

There’s something vulnerable in Jensen in that moment. He looks horrified and defiant all at once, and it makes Jared feel more tender than sexy. He leads Jensen’s lip to his and kisses softly. Tries to put into action something that he still can’t quite find a way to phrase and express verbally.

And Jensen kisses back, tenderly at first, and then hungrily. He grabs Jared and pulls him and they’ve got full body contact. Jared has gotten used to Jensen carrying himself with a certain decorum. Holding onto a level of well-dressed that seems ridiculous and impressive all at once.

Not here though. In bed, dressed only in boxers and a baggy shirt, Jensen looks tousled and delicious. He’s hedonistic, raw, and Jared can’t get enough of it. He presses firmly, pushing his hardening dick against Jensen and feeling the taut muscles and smooth skin he can get his hands on. He runs them up Jensen’s side, rucking up the shirt, and gets ribs and softness.

Perfection.

Jensen has his hands hooked underneath Jared’s boxers and the grip he has on Jared’s ass is firm and tantalizing. Jensen uses this grip to move Jared, and their cocks rub through the thin material of their boxers.

Sacrifices must be made, and Jared happily sacrifices feeling Jensen up to use one hand to lift himself and the other to open their boxers just enough so he can get both of their cocks out. He moans, unable to help himself when he sees Jensen’s, and then reaches down to grip both of them together and start to move.

Hips going slow and smooth, skin rolling against skin, and Jared lifts his hand for a moment, licks it quickly, and then reaches back down to slick their cocks up a little and ease the friction. It wouldn’t do to burn. And then he’s thrusting in earnest, Jensen copying his movements underneath him so that they become almost one person in perfect sync.

It’s so good, it’s too good, and Jared can’t believe how fast it’s getting him there. He needs to know that Jensen is there too though and he can’t make himself ask. Instead he lets his arm go a little slack to lower his mouth back down to Jensen’s and start to kiss again.

Slick and swollen lips eat at each other, swallowing any noises the two of them might be making, and Jared slips his tongue into Jensen’s mouth and hits teeth and then tongue to twine with. His hips stutter for a second, falter, and Jensen picks up the slack and pushes hard against him. Jensen’s hands are everywhere. Sliding up to rub Jared’s nipples, down his sides to grip his hips, behind to stroke gentle and soft up his cheeks and along his crack.

And it’s when one finger brushes Jared’s hole that he comes, gripping the two of them together just the right side of too tight before he feels Jensen’s cock start to jerk against his own and he knows that he wasn’t too far ahead.

They come down together, slow lazy thrusts in Jared’s extremely slick fist, and then Jared has to break the kiss to breathe. He rests his forehead against Jensen’s and works through that last little bit of shuddering orgasm before he can push away and drop down onto his back.

Both of them are out of breath, chests heaving, and then Jensen covers his face with his arm and groans.

“Everything ok?”

Jensen doesn’t lift his arm when he responds.

“Your bathroom is across the hall.”

Shit.


----

Jensen eats breakfast with the Padaleckis. He passes dishes back and forth and watches the group of them laugh together. Halfway through his second biscuit Jared’s foot slides up his ankle and presses against his calf, non-sexual contact, and Jensen presses back against it.

It’s more comfortable than Jensen is ready for. And the worst part? Last night, completely against any plan or ideal of self-control, Jensen admitted to Jared that he was the devil. Granted, Jared didn’t believe him, but what the hell was that? It didn’t achieve anything.

Or at least, it didn’t achieve any goal Jensen was reaching for. He hadn’t planned to get physically intimate with Jared that way. It wasn’t necessary to make the man question his faith. So now he has that on his plate, as well as the fact that with every minute the Padaleckis are there reinforcing their love for Jared they are taking him a step further away from the despair he’s supposed to already be rolling in.

What is Jensen going to do?

His phone rings and he excuses himself and steps outside onto the porch. The morning sun is bright, cresting over the trees at the back of the little wildflower field, and Jensen squints at it as he answers the call.

“Lord. We have an issue. How long until you can get down here?”

Jensen glances at his wristwatch out of some deeply buried human instinct. Travel time doesn’t really affect him anymore, but he does need to estimate how long it will take him to break out of this situation properly without sending up any red flags.

“Give me about fifteen minutes to thank Sherri for the breakfast and bow out gracefully and I’ll be there.”

The noise on the other end isn’t pleased, but Sariel hangs up and leaves him alone. Jensen has five sets of eyes on him the moment he steps back in through the door, and he feels bizarrely nervous.

“I have a work emergency I have to head back to. I’m sorry. It’s been lovely meeting all of you, and I’m sure-“

“If you come back tonight we’ll still be here. We’re gonna stay for a couple days and then take turns staying with Jared until this whole mess is cleared up.” Sherri is smiling big and bright when she says it. The rest of the Padalecki clan all nod their heads.

Jensen is flabbergasted.

“I would. I would like that. A lot. Jared?”

He doesn’t even know what he’s asking, but Jared is smiling big and bright.

“Yeah. We’ll see you tonight honey.”

Jeff slaps Jared’s shoulder laughing, and Megan makes a gagging face even though she’s smiling.

He’s not ashamed to admit he flees the scene. As soon as the car is around the corner Jensen ports himself down to Hell. There he finds Sariel in the throne room with Azazel. The two of them are in mid bickering when Jensen lands, and he adjusts his tie and takes a deep breath.

“What. Are. You. Two. Doing?”

Children. Fucking children.

“Lord.” Azazel starts with whining. “I have been trying to get a hold of you and she has been blocking me. I have important business regarding the Pit that must be handled by the current Devil.”

Sariel’s mouth purses tight and displeased.

“I told you I could handle it you dimwit. The devil is very busy keeping up with his obligations regarding the Job. He still has to deal with the family.”

Azazel’s eyes widen and his mouth forms an “o” that would be comical in any other setting. Right now it’s just another annoyance.

“Why is the family still alive? All the other devils killed them first.”

Jensen steps up then, enjoying a little how they both step back in deference. He won’t have that for much longer.

“Because even if he gets them back I’m not clumsy enough to need murder to achieve my aspirations. Now, about this business you had.”

Azazel is staring at him like he’s grown two heads. Sariel opens her mouth but the other fallen angel cuts her off.

“What do you mean get them back?”

Now it’s Jensen’s turn to stare, and he can see out of the corner of his eye that Sariel is turning red in the face as she tries to glare Azazel to death. On a human it would be a viable tactic.

“Get them back. When the bet is over God gives them back.”

Azazel laughs disbelievingly, eyes moving back and forth between Jensen and Sariel, and then the laughter stops.

“My lord, there is no ‘getting them back.’ Why would there be? Once everything is done God simply moves the Job into-“

And then Azazel is gone. All that’s left is a smudge where he once was, and Sariel is looking anywhere but at Jensen. He’s pretty sure that she’s almost abashed at the brute force in it, since the two of them usually prefer the more logical and subtle way.

More importantly, he’s pretty sure that she’s about to die by his hand if she doesn’t open her mouth and tell him what’s going on.

“Sariel. You have ten seconds. What did he mean by Jared won’t get it back?”

“Jared won’t get his family back.”

“Why. Not.”

Sariel licks her lips, tilts her head and forces a smile.

“Jensen, lord, you see. This is technically not something I hid from you. I told you that the stories weren’t accurate.”

“Why won’t he get his family back? What about his job? Or his friends? Does he not get those back too?”

Her hands fold together smoothly, as if she’s not concerned at all.

“No. He gets nothing he lost back.”

Jensen feels his hands shaking. At first he thinks that maybe he’ll be able to hold this in, to control it and ask the things he needs to logically and carefully.

And then he lifts Sariel up and turns throwing her into a cage. The door slams shut and she’s standing in the middle of it staring at him in shock. Jensen leans against the bars, gripping them tight and hearing the metal strain and groan under his grip.

“Did you know that the whole time?”

She nods, staring at him like he’s a monster. Jensen doesn’t feel that’s very fair all things considered.

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t tell me.”

“No.”

“Why?”

Sariel touches the bars behind her, standing up a little straighter and firming her chin.

“Because it didn’t matter. Whether he gets it back or not he’s the Job and you’re the devil. Losing everything is how it’s meant to go.”

Jensen blinks, blinks again, and then remembers the last time he spoke to Azazel. How she came busting in like it was the end of the world and shut Azazel up after he said something about “the Job”. Something about Jared not getting it back. Why didn’t he follow up on that? How could he have forgotten?

“Explain. Slow. From the beginning to the end.”

Sariel takes one step forward, still avoiding the white hot bars and Jensen’s reach.

“The Job always signals the end of one devil’s reign and the beginning of another. Once a Job is picked there is no unpicking. God won’t stop until the deed is done. So telling you served no point but to complicate the process of you finishing the new Job.”

Jensen pulls on the bars a little and listens to them groan and twist. Sariel presses back against the back of the cage again.

“Explain better Sariel.”

“The Job. It’s a title not a name. The first few humans God put in charge were terrible. They were either malicious and overly ambitious or sheep. He needed someone who could lead, but who didn’t look on humanity as if they were less. So he came up with a plan to create a new leader, someone who would still empathize with humanity, but wouldn’t stop every ten seconds to ask him what he wanted. There are two kinds of Job. One that is created by taking everything from him until all he has left is a need for vengeance against God, and the other that naturally came with nothing. The Job would be given the choice of becoming the devil or simply losing everything. They always pick being the devil.”

Jensen tries to speak, but nothing comes. She takes his silence as a hint to go on.

“I’m only able to disobey so much Jensen. Sometimes rebellion is more about what you don’t do than what you do. I wasn’t allowed to tell you this until it was too late. Until it couldn’t be turned around. God wants Jared Padalecki to be the next devil and he will have it. It doesn’t matter what you do now. You set it in motion. If you don’t kill his family God will. If you back out God will make you suffer for it and then he’ll do it anyway. So just. Just finish.”

If Jensen believed she had a heart he would almost think that she was concerned for him. But he knows better than that.

“You said decide. Decide to be the devil. Why doesn’t God just make them be it? Why does he have to pitch it?”

Saying it out loud makes Jensen think of the barbershop, of what God said to him that day. He should have seen it. Should have known what was coming then and now. Because he sat down in the barbershop and the barber asked him about religion. A simple enough topic for idle conversation in Southern Texas, everyone was a Baptist or a Presbyterian anyway. And Jensen had answered honestly then.

God is a bully that deserves to fall down.

And what had the barber said?

What gives you the right to decide if he’s doing his job well or not? Where were you when he was shaping and molding the Earth? And where will you be when it ends?

Where were you when God laid the foundations of the earth?



“Because he gave you free will. You could always say no. Then he can’t make you. It’s the rule.”

And Jensen knows what he has to do. Knows it. Hates it. Will do it anyway.

“Do you have to tell God I know?”

Sariel nods, slow and sure, and Jensen steps back from the cage.

“Then you’re staying here.”

“Jensen wait I-“

But Jensen is already gone.

----


Jared looks around the temporarily empty apartment. His family has gone to the grocery store. Jared was invited, but didn’t feel like leaving. He knows it’s paranoid, this is not a little city, but there’s a possibility that someone will recognize him. He doesn’t want that.

Doesn’t want to be looked at like he’s a bad guy when he knows that he hasn’t done anything wrong.

A knock on the door makes him stand up, and Jared crosses the floor and pushes the dogs back while he looks through the peephole. It’s Pastor Bob. Jared’s mom must have called him.

He feels an enormous weight lift off his shoulders at the familiar face. He has known Pastor Bob since he was a little boy. In times of crisis or need Pastor Bob has always been there. And now here he is, when Jared needs him most.

The dogs are barking like an intruder is trying to break in, so Jared calls out to Pastor Bob to wait and then drags them both back to his bedroom and shuts them in. When he gets back to the door Pastor Bob is still waiting patiently. Jared opens the door and pulls him into a tight hug.

“Pastor Bob. I can’t believe you’re here. Thank you.”

Pastor Bob hugs just as tight, patting Jared on the back and standing firm and solid. An embodiment of Jared’s faith.

“Of course I am son. In times like this you need someone who will understand and listen. Who better than your friendly neighborhood pastor?”

Jared leads Pastor Bob back to the table and pulls a chair out for him. After he’s seated Jared fiddles with the teapot trying to fill it up and get it set. He hasn’t used this thing since he bought it. Gen usually works the teapot when they’re in a tea mood.

“So you’ve heard everything? You know what they’re accusing me of?”

Pastor Bob nods, lips curling into a comforting smile and eyes crinkling at their corners.

“I know Jared. And I think we should discuss-“

And then, against all reasonable explanations, Jensen is standing beside Jared.

There is no logical way that it could happen. Jared can see the only entryway out of the corner of his eye. For Jensen to appear there he would have had to teleport or step through the wall. Jared thinks this totally forgives the way he jumps a foot and drops the teapot.

Jensen looks over to the table, his face shifting from desperation to disgust when he spies Pastor Bob sitting calmly there like he belongs.

“Jared. Jared I need you to listen to me. To listen and believe can you do that?”

Before Jared can answer Pastor Bob speaks up, seemingly unfazed at all by this development.

“Son. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Jared, please. Look at me. Tell me you believe me.”

What the fuck is going on? Jared’s eyes ping pong back and forth between Pastor Bob and his boyfriend before they settle on Jensen. He swallows and nods. He does believe Jensen. He’s a little confused why his boyfriend can teleport, and why he hates his pastor, but he knows Jensen. Knows that Jensen is honest and good.

“Good. Now listen to me because any second now he’s going to do something to stop me. Don’t sign anything. Don’t agree to anything. Don’t let him trick you into service. Do you understand?”

“No. Jensen what are you talking about?”

Pastor Bob stands, the smile on his face still kind and understanding. But oddly…hollow now that Jared is really looking at it.

“Yes Jensen, what are you talking about?”

“That, your Pastor? Not your Pastor. And I am not your boyfriend. Not technically. Or only. Or. Just. I’m the devil. I tried to tell you before but I did it when I knew you wouldn’t believe me. I’m telling you now. I’m the devil and that, right there, is God. You are in the middle of a very old and very terrible game he plays where he takes everything from someone and then makes them agree to be the devil. He did it to me. He’s doing it to you and I helped him. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, and I know this is asking a lot of you, and I know I must sound crazy, but Jared I am asking you to believe me. He can’t make you the devil without your permission. He can’t make you. Don’t sign anything. Don’t agree.”

Jared opens his mouth, mind racing as it tries to comprehend and catch up with what Jensen is saying. And then Jensen is gone.

And so is Pastor Bob.


---

Jensen doesn’t know how long he’s been locked in the cell.

It is small, windowless, and there are no features beyond the walls and the bars in front of him.

He has no idea how long he’s been there, or how long he will continue to be there. He does know that the floor is uncomfortable, and that this is the first time he’s ever been in Heaven.

It’s not terribly impressive.

On top of all of that Jensen is remembering the last fifteen to twenty seconds on Earth. The look on Jared’s face.

Did he pull it off? Did he stop the Job from becoming the next devil? And what exactly will happen to him? Will he stay the devil if Jared didn’t, or will God punish him and replace him with someone else?

The questions ping back and forth in Jensen’s brain as he sits perfectly still, fingertips the only movement as they rub against the silky smooth material of his trousers. He wants so badly to ask someone, but there is no one around. Just himself and his thoughts.

All his life Jensen was bottom of the pack. He was the smallest boy in the orphanage, no one wanted to adopt him, and then just for kicks at some point in his adolescence he figured out he was into boys. In Texas. That particular taste was more accepted now, but in Jensen’s day it was still a crime that could get you legally punished. If you weren’t hung by a mob first.

He had thought that it was because God didn’t care when he was human, but he had known it as the devil.

But now it takes on a much more sinister meaning. A carefully crafted tragedy to make him exactly what God needed in that moment.

He wishes that he could get one last shot at punching God right in his smug fucking face. But knowing the supreme being there is a fine chance he’ll simply send an angel to do his dirty work. Or someone Jensen knows from his time in office.

And of course that’s when he hears a throat clear.

Sariel is standing outside of the bars, arms crossed under her breasts and one eyebrow lifted high. Jensen swallows, not unaware of the irony of this moment.

“Did he come down and let you out?”

She steps forward, through the bars, and gracefully plops down beside him on the ground. Her shoulder just barely brushes his bicep.

“No. I can go anywhere I want when I want. I just walked out.”

That. That is not the answer he suspected.

“Then what was the point of letting me think you couldn’t?”

Sariel picks at her nails idly, not looking at him.

“If you think it God thinks it. And that’s what I needed so I wouldn’t get thrown down with you.”

Jensen is frozen for a moment, unsure of what that means, and then he sees her lips curl into a small and smug grin.

“You terrible, evil bitch. You knew what I was going to do. You let me.”

She shrugs. Picks at her nail once more and then lays her head on her knees to look at him.

“Did you do it? Did you talk the Job out of it?”

Jensen isn’t sure. Doesn’t know what to say.

“I don’t know. I hope so. Don’t you know?”

“Oh I have no idea. I was told my boss went off the deep end and that I needed to come up here to be with him for his trial. And then I was asked why I didn’t stop him from going up there and showing his ass, to which I logically responded that he detained me and it took some time to get free. So. I haven’t really peeked. Does it matter at this point?”

“Yes. It matters.”

“Because you’re all gooey and heart eyed over the man?”

Jensen’s pride curls up in his throat and chokes him. He’s the devil. He doesn’t get gooey and heart eyed.

“No. Because I at least want to know that I pulled it off. Doesn’t that count? Wanting to finish?”

“Sure it does. But that’s not why.” Sariel smiles at him, sideways and wide. “Jensen, do you know that you are the worst devil that I have ever had the displeasure to serve under?”

And that stings, because it’s not true at all.

“Excuse me? I keep the place organized. Our numbers are up. I’m efficient and focused and I keep the group of you on track. How could I possibly be the worst devil you ever served under?”

She pokes his knee.

“Tell me this. What is your job?”

“To keep hell running efficiently and collect the souls bound for it.”

She shakes her head and pokes his knee again.

“Close but no cigar boss. You’re supposed to tempt them. Bring them in. Convert them to our side. If all you ever do is collect the bad ones you’re just maintaining the status quo. You’re a terrible devil because you’re too good of a man. The others, they all had something in them that was a little bit off. A little bit mean. But not you boss.”

“I was a terrible human being. Selfish and angry. I never did anything good.”

“You were an apathetic human being. You were a good man as a devil. And that’s why you couldn’t go after Jared Padalecki. Even if it meant you being stuck in hell forever you recognized in him all the things you were learning about yourself. So no. You were shit at it. And now you won’t be the devil anymore and I’ll have to deal with some other asshole.”

“Do you think he hates me?” Jensen hates how small his voice is. How weak.

“Does it matter? I thought you just wanted to finish. He can hate you and still not take the position.”

“No. It doesn’t matter.”

Sariel shakes her head.

“You’re also a terrible liar. Which is a huge flaw for a devil.”

“I’m a great liar. I’m the prince of lies.”

“Lucifer was the prince of lies. You’re like, the governor of lies. The Aide de Camp of lies. Something else.”

Jensen tries to keep his mouth from pursing. From giving her the satisfaction.

“So what happens now? What punishment is worse than being in here? Or being in charge of Hell?”

She stands then, brushes imaginary dirt off of her knees and fixes the hem of her dress. Then she holds out a hand and Jensen takes it without a second thought. Allows himself to be pulled up.

“You go on trial next. If God finds you guilty he does to you whatever is worse than what he already did. If he doesn’t then you walk I guess.”

“Do I get an attorney? We know enough of them down there.”

She smiles then, and it’s the one he’s used to. Too many teeth and slightly evil.

“Of course you do. I’m your attorney.”

He’s fucked.


----


The courtroom is huge, and Jensen looks around it in silent wonder. The ceilings go up so high that they blend into what looks like clouds. The windows are so bright that they hurt to look at, and the benches and desks are a dark and polished wood that Jensen can see his own reflection in. The audience section is empty, but the jury box is filled with angels. Jensen doesn’t think that’s fair.

God sits in the center next to the witness stand, and a man Jensen doesn’t know stands at the prosecution table looking serious and dour.

He tries to look powerful, stable, confident, but he knows that there’s only a slim chance he’s pulling it off. Sariel has a hand on his elbow, and Jensen wonders what this is like for her. If she cares to look at what she’s been thrown out of.

Jensen takes his seat at the defense table and watches as God flips through a giant book before looking up.

“Jensen Ackles. You are charged with the crime of diverting the natural order and disobeying the word of God. How do you plead?”

He goes to open his mouth, but Sariel speaks first.

“We plead guilty your highness. Also, we plead not interested.”

The angels in the jury box mutter unhappily, and the prosecutor glares angrily at her. God seems unfazed.

“Prosecution. Call your first witness.”

And the angel, he has to be an angel from how stiff he looks, turns to the empty courtroom and speaks in a deep resounding voice.

“I call Jensen Ackles to the stand.”

He should have seen it coming. Jensen gets up and crosses the marble floor all by himself. The space is huge. The seat isn’t very comfortable. The jury looks ready to hang him.

Except whatever it is that waits for him at the end of this will be worse than a noose and he knows it.

“Jensen Ackles.” The prosecutor strolls forwards and places his hand on the wood railing in front of Jensen. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you Him?”

It takes every muscle in his body to not burst into laughter at the cheesiness of it. Sariel does not have the same restraint.

“I swear.”

“Did you, knowingly, ruin God’s chances with the new Job by telling him not to sign the contract?”

Jensen feels relief like he can’t believe. A weight he didn’t know was resting on his shoulders lifts up and he can breathe easy again. Whatever is coming his way Jared said no. Jared won’t be forced into devilhood like he was. Jared is safe.

“Yes. I did that.” He looks to Sariel and sees her smiling and nodding. “I did that.”

“The prosecution rests your holiness.”

Jensen hopes Sariel has something up her sleeve.

She stands, strolls over to the box, and then hops up to sit on the rail in front of him and let her feet swing and dangle.

“Jensen, do you understand that when you are in that seat you cannot lie and you cannot refuse to answer a question?”

No. He didn’t.

“I do now. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome lord.” She smiles cheekily and the angels all glare. “Now, I have two questions. Who’s your right hand and best helper?”

“You are.”

“Let the records show that Jensen Ackles has called Sariel the-“

“Get on with it.” God does not look amused.

“Of course. Jensen, last question. Do you love Jared Padalecki?”

There’s silence in the courtroom. A tension spreads through the room. Jensen isn’t sure why, but he knows that he would love to slap her right back into a cage and try to keep her there.

But he has to answer.

“Yes. I do.”

The courtroom begins to mutter unhappily. The angels are looking at each other, and God looks unsettled. Jensen isn’t sure why.

“You can return to your seat Jensen. I have another witness to call.”

Jensen gets up, bumps her not too softly, and then collapses back into his chair at the table. She continues to sit on the railing.

“For my last witness I call Jared Padalecki to the stand.”

The courtroom erupts, and Jensen stands and slams his hands down on the table.

“Sariel! He doesn’t need to be involved.”

“He does.”

And sure enough Jared arrives in the seat looking confused and perplexed. He looks around, eyes flitting over angel’s faces, before they settle on Jensen. The conflict is obvious in his face.

“Jared Padalecki, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you the big man what tried to ruin your life?”

The gavel slams and the courtroom shakes, but Sariel looks unfazed.

“I swear.” Jared looks solemn. Sure. And Jensen begins to wonder about a lot of things.

“Jared Padalecki. Do you love Jensen Ackles?”

Jensen’s heart stops beating. Time stands still. He hears a crack from the table under his fingers where his clutching fingers break the surface into pieces. The entire courtroom has gone dead silent and still and they are all staring at Jared.

But Jared is only looking at Jensen.

“I do. Even if he’s the devil.”

The courtroom becomes a cacophonous mess, angels all shouting and arguing at once, God slamming his gavel, and Jared disappears into thin air. Sariel hops off the rail and looks up to God with a bright smile on her face.

“You see? They’re in love. I rest my case.”

The jury disappears, the prosecutor is gone, and all that is left in the courtroom is Jensen, Sariel, and God.

“Jensen. I cannot keep you as devil any longer. You are sentenced to fifty years on earth as a human being. At the end of those fifty years I will review your behavior and decide if you will be placed in Heaven, or continue to live on earth.” God slams the gavel, and then he’s gone too.

And all that’s left is Jensen and Sariel.

“Did he just…make me human again?”

She takes his elbow and begins to walk slowly but surely towards the giant doors.

“Yes Jensen. He did that.”

“For fifty years?”

“At the very least. Which is fairly standard for a human life.”

Step, step, slow and sure, the big doors getting closer and bigger.

“Why? You said I was guilty. They have me. I admitted to doing it.”

Sariel stops at the giant doors and turns her head to look at him.

“Do you remember that saying in the Bible? As it is in Heaven so shall it be on Earth?”

Jensen nods slowly.

“Well God once let you humans write that he was love. And because of that nothing can be considered a crime if it is done out of true, enduring, reciprocal love. He kinda fucked himself.”

He can’t help it. Jensen sweeps her up in a hug and spins her around. Sariel instantly slaps at his shoulders until he puts her down.

“Ew. Ew. Stop. I don’t do that. You may be all gooey and mushy on the inside, but I’m still a member of the Hell legion. Now. We’re gonna take you through that door and you’re gonna be on earth and human. Don’t end up back in my neck of the woods.”

“Will I ever see you again?”

Sariel squints, looking past him at something he can’t see.

“Probably. I’ve grown fond of bothering you.” She pushes the doors open to show bright white light. “Good luck asshole.”

And then she pushes Jensen into the brightness.


-----


Sariel stands in the doorway a long time, watching Jared Padalecki alternately shake and hug her former boss. She doesn’t react when she feels the presence beside her.

“I knew it would end like this.”

She controls her smile when Jared kisses Jensen.

“Oh don’t try to claim ineffableness now. You bet against them. Which means I get both my vacation.”

God laughs behind her, and Sariel finally turns to look at him. He’s looking at Jared and Jensen, smile bright and unfathomably warm on his face.

“Yes. And I’ll have your new boss ready by the time you get back.”

She sighs and closes the door on the happy scene. There’s always more work to be done.

Part 3
Epilogue