dime_liora | Gift for Darklittleheart: If You Go to War (Reply)

Title: If You Go to War

Gifter: dimeliora

Pairing/Characters: Jensen/Jared

Word count/Medium: 5,606/Fic

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: I do not own these nice people, I just own the action figures I make kiss.

Summary: Omega Jared Padalecki, Special Agent in Charge of the Dallas Field office, has a little surprise growing in him. Now he's gotta figure out what to do next with it, his crumbling career, and his alpha ex.

Jared hasn’t been in charge of the organized crime unit in five years. He has been working very hard at his new position, SAC at the field office in Dallas, and making his way slowly but surely into the position of first omega Assistant Director at the FBI since its inception. There was a time a person like him wouldn’t even be considered for anything outside of desk duties and copies, but now he’s sitting behind the big desk and looking at the possibility of bigger desks in the future. His family hates it, too dangerous, keeping him from having a family, etc. His friends think that he’s crazy for devoting so much of his life to a job. But Jared doesn’t see it that way.

In fact, as far as Jared is concerned there is only one thing more fun than his job and that thing is more of a hobby than a lifestyle. Jared loves getting the bad guy. He loves being the one that kicks open the door and saves the day, puts together the evidence to close down the criminals for good, or once in a blue moon the one that looks down at the person he just saved and says, “Aw shucks,” like a cartoon cowboy while they fawn over him.

It’s the greatest feeling in the world as far as Jared is concerned, being the hero that saves the day. Coming in at the last second to clear out the danger and lift people up into the safety of their family and friends. There’s no question in Jared’s mind that he was born for this. He was born to go above and beyond, put his life on the line, just so he can do the right thing. And he’s spent years getting to this point. He’s worked his ass off, not literally according to his last few sexual partners, to get to this point where he has enough clout and respect to be able to bring in other omegas and expand their influence within the Bureau. To be able to choose his direction and his motivation and his own path without any bullshit alpha nonsense getting in his way.

There is nothing that Jared won’t do to keep his independence. No one that Jared won’t walk away from, nothing that Jared won’t fight, no length that Jared won’t go to. And that’s why Jared had worked so hard originally to get into the organized crime unit. He had believed that he could get not only arrests, but seize a sizable amount of cash for the government to exclaim over before promoting Jared to the position he is now in. Jared did everything he set out to. He destabilized an entire organization, he put criminals including a mafia don behind bars, and he seized millions of dollars for the United States government. It was this win that put Jared in the bigger office ordering alphas around and hiring omegas.

For a while Jared was facing death threats and assassins at every turn. They seemed to materialize out of woodwork all the way up to the last court case. It got to the point that Jared agreed to hire a bodyguard just because he couldn’t take care of himself when he was asleep, and it turns out he needed to sleep. That was how his ex had come into his life. And now Jared is sitting in the big office, five years after he finished all of that and won himself the position and freedom he needed to tap dance along the glass ceiling up the stairs to whatever was next, puking in his own neat and fastidiously chosen wastebasket.

Jared’s skin is clammy, his hands are shaking, and he swears to himself that he could move if he tried but that might be a blatant lie. Nausea stalks his throat as he holds himself perfectly still in the exact position that will apparently allow him to stop throwing up. Unlike the day before, when the knock comes at the door Jared can’t sit up and make himself presentable. Instead he is locked into position as the door opens and his second in command looks him over and then leans against the wall and hooks his thumbs in his belt loops.

“Boss.”

Christian Kane is an alpha of few words. It’s always been soothing for Jared, and he’s always appreciated the fact that Christian never thinks that he’s doing anything but trying to set an example for the world. There’s no having to explain himself or justify his behavior, Christian simply stands behind him when needed and picks him up when required. When Jared got his promotion he brought Christian on immediately from the San Antonio office. It took Christian out of the direct line of fire that came with being that close to the border. The look in Christian’s eyes is almost concerned, which is an outpouring of emotion for the agent that Jared has known for so long.

“Christian. Can you get me some water?”

The agent does, putting it down next to Jared with the lid off, and then takes back up his position against the wall. “Boss. Is it his?”

Jared closes his eyes against the spike of pain in the center of his brain and wonders why it is that biology is so determined to fuck omegas over at every angle. Of course Christian never considered the possibility that it was a stomach flu or another issue. Jared bets that he smells pregnant as hell to anyone on the outside with a strong nose, and not being able to hide it is going to mean a paid leave that Jared will be furious about.

“Yeah. It’s his.”

Christian’s clicks his tongue against his teeth and then looks out the window. “You go on a case, I can buy you a month before the mucky-mucks figure out something’s going on, but you’re gonna have to get out of this office before somebody else gets a whiff.”

Probably the fifth longest sentence that Christian has spoken in his life. Jared nods, gets up, wobbles, and then heads out the door with Christian walking close behind him. There’s no more said by his second in command, the alpha just opens the car door for him and then closes it behind him and walks off before Jared has even started the car.

He appreciates the complete lack of concern shown for him. It lets him have one more moment where he is Jared Padalecki, Special Agent in Charge of the Dallas field office instead of what’s coming his way.

The month does nothing. Jared can’t make a decision on what to do so he makes no decision. It seems that finally Jared has found something he can’t burn his way through to further his career and his freedom. He wants to scream, but even that is a step past what is acceptable in this situation. Jared finds himself getting his regular checkup after the fake case is over and being outed immediately. He is given the option to choose someone to handle his duties while he is on leave, and immediately picks Christian.

Christian swears to him that he will just arrive at Jared’s doorstep every day with a breakdown of what’s happening and then just act as Jared’s proxy. It’s not that Jared doesn’t believe him, it’s that Jared doesn’t want to have to use a go-between. He wants to be in charge himself. No matter how many times Christian tells the others that it is Jared’s decisions being enacted they will never believe that an alpha is acting for an omega. Not when succeeding at Jared’s job while he’s on leave would put Christian next in line for the position.

Jared responds to this last straw by getting in his car and driving an hour out into the country to stop outside of the massive gate and hit the button on the intercom until there’s finally an answer. A very dry voice crackles out of the speaker. “Yes, Mr. Padalecki?”

“I’m here to see him.” Jared doesn’t elaborate, just listens to the silence that responds until the gates swing open and Jared is able to maneuver his truck along the long and winding driveway until he reaches the mansion at the end. There’s someone holding the front door open, which makes Jared even angrier, so he storms past the servant and up the stairs until he reaches his ex’s office door and kicks it in. The sensation of wood splintering under his boot is everything Jared dreamed of and more. Even the shocked look on Jensen’s face when the door gives way and the two guns that are now drawn on Jared aren’t as good as the knowledge that he has broken something of Jensen’s just like Jensen broke something of his.

Even if the door isn’t close in value to what Jared has lost.

“Put the guns down and hop along to your respective dog houses, I’m here to talk to your master.” By the time Jared is done both of the alphas that are aiming at him are shaking, but a wave of Jensen’s hand makes them behave and lower their weapons before they skitter off. That leaves Jared, chest heaving, glaring at an only slightly ruffled Jensen.

“This is the second time that you’ve broken down my door. Considering I didn’t have any new surprises for you in the last few months I’m not sure what makes you think this is reasonable or acceptable.” Jensen looks so cool, calm, and he lights his cigarette like it’s just another day and Jared is just another asshole kicking his door in.

If he was crazy, and there is a case to be made for that since even after he learned the truth he still kept meeting with Jensen, he would believe that Jensen is acting this cool just because he’s got so many omegas that go nuts and start breaking his property. Except Jared isn’t crazy, he knows better. He knows that every time Jensen locked with him, knot swollen and thick inside him, and whispered how much he loved Jared and how bad he wanted to keep him forever there was no lie there. Of all the things that Jensen lied about that was the one thing that he held sacred. It’s a family tradition apparently.

“You’re wrong. You had one more for me.” Jared takes a half step forward and sees the look on Jensen’s face twist and shift into surprise and then shock. Jensen rockets up smashing out the cigarette and waving the smoke away before he rushes forward, but Jared shoves him backwards into the desk and then steps forward to slam his hands down on either side of Jensen’s hips.

“Jared.” Jensen’s voice is warm, melted, and Jared hates it. He hates the sweetness there, the devotion, the legitimate care and concern. He hates that there is not an ounce of fake in Jensen. He hates that Jensen is probably like that because he has always wanted to be a mate and a father. Because Jensen loves that even now, knowing what Jensen is, Jared has never been even vaguely cowed.

“Don’t. Fucking don’t. Don’t do that shit with me. I’m so tired and frustrated and you fucking somehow did this on purpose.”

Anger flares up and Jensen pushes back on Jared’s shoulder. “Are you serious? I did this? I didn’t do this alone, Jared. We did this together. We did this together on accident, but that’s fine. Miracles are consistently accidental.”

Jared doesn’t necessarily want to hurt Jensen, but he does wanna fuck up his day the way that all of Jared’s days have been fucked up since he found out. So, in a move that is the height of mature, Jared grabs the scissors off Jensen’s desk and cuts Jensen’s tie.

The silence in the room is deafening. The two of them stare at each other, both ramping up soundlessly, until Jensen picks him up and starts stomping down the hall. He ignores every curse and shove, Jared still not willing to hurt but furious that there’s someone that can so easily pick him up, and keeps going until they reach the bedroom. It’s Jensen’s turn to kick in a door, and Jared is briefly weightless before he bounces on the giant bed and settles into the silky comforter that he loves.

Fucking stupid Jensen, designing his room so that Jared would be comfortable when he visited.

When they were dating, when Jensen was pretending to be a bodyguard so he could keep Jared alive throughout the length of Jared locking up and ruining all of his targets, they used to have sex in Jared’s shitty apartment or any number of shitty motel rooms that they would cycle through when the threat level hit that point. Jared would keen, face down in a scratchy comforter and ass up in Jensen’s strong hands, and it would be nothing but sensations that Jared will treasure until his dying day.

Now, Jensen rips his ruined tie off with one hand while pushing that flop of hair that’s broken out of its gel control back from his forehead. Jared, determined not to be overwhelmed, responds by sitting up and ripping his shirt to ruin every single one of its buttons while pushing all of Jensen’s. His ex responds appropriately, growling and shoving his pants down before realizing he’s gone in the wrong order and toeing his shoes off. Jensen hits his knees in between Jared’s long legs and then reaches up and pulls both of Jared’s boots off dragging Jared’s crotch right in front of Jensen’s face.

At this point Jared could flood a grand banquet room but he’s still angry and that anger is enough to make the next thing he does even more targeted. “Now that I think about it, it might not even be yours.”

Jensen actually rips Jared’s pants off. Pushes and claws until Jared rolls over and lets Jensen rip his boxers off too. Teeth settle into the tender and unguarded skin above his knee on the back of his thigh. He cries out and then reaches back and pulls on Jensen’s hair hard and firm. Jensen slaps Jared’s hand away and then pulls Jared’s legs into a wide spread with his knees on the edge of the bed so that he has no balance and has to rest on his elbows entirely. “You fucking lie.” There’s a slap to his right ass cheek and then one to his left. Jared is going to get dehydrated. “Say it. Say you lie.”

For a second Jared ignores the command, said not in the voice of an alpha trying to cow an omega but in the voice that once told Jared to relax while Jensen filled him upside down with cock. The voice that used to make Jared jerk and pulse from across the room while Jensen calmly observed Jared twisted and contorted and exposed. “I lied.” A nip to the other thigh in the same spot makes Jared cry out and hump the air. “I lied, sir.”

Jared gets treated to teeth scraping his left ass cheek, and then two fingers straight into his hole to swirl around with Jensen’s strong tongue. The man did after all build an empire almost entirely by talking. Jared cries out, clawing at the comforter to move forward and get better purchase, but Jensen denies it. Jensen actually takes his fingers out of Jared’s hole and lifts his knees so that now all his weight is on his elbows and he relies on Jensen not to drop him.

The sounds of Jensen eating him out are getting increasingly obscene, and Jared is only not encouraging the alpha on out of the tiniest bit of self-control that still remains in his arsenal. Instead he grunts and moans, letting Jensen practically drink his slick, until suddenly that mouth is gone and then back again but on his cock. Jared starts to cry, literally cry, and he is not ashamed of it. The anger and the confusion are just too much for anything else, but Jensen is holding him steady and giving him something that he can’t turn down no matter how much he didn’t earn it.

Obviously Jensen can’t talk, his tour of Jared’s edible parts moving back to Jared’s loosening hole as Jared twists and pulls at the hands that are just tossing him from position to position, Jared finally breaks. His mouth moves on all the emotions that Jensen is working out of him with that fucking beautiful mouth. “It’s ruined. Fucking everything is ruined. You know what they’re gonna do. They already put me on leave and then when I get back they’re going to demand the fucking test. They’re going to demand to know who the fucking- Oh Jesus- who the fucking alpha parent is so they know who owns me.”

Jensen pulls back, and Jared is lifted and still unable to see the alpha’s face as he’s turned with his back to Jensen’s chest and the thick head of Jensen’s dick pushes past Jared’s loosened muscles and deep into him in one animalistic stroke. Jared starts to cry in earnest, bouncing with each thrust, as Jensen lays punishing trails of bites along his shoulders and back. “They’re going to ask and it’ll be you. It’s always been you. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I don’t wanna lose the one part of you I can take away with me.”

A knot presses insistently at Jared’s hole, and he’s so wrung out and exhausted from the emotions and the admittance that he flops helplessly against Jensen’s chest and comes when that knot pushes through the last resistance and locks into him. He continues to spill out his heart even as Jensen is locked with him and the orgasms are just rolling along. Biology is a hell of a drug.

“They’ll arrest me. So that’s fun. They’ll never believe that it was above board and I wasn’t some kind of plant or controlled puppet of yours. They’re gonna lock me the fuck up and you’re going to be the only one left to take care of the baby. Which I would normally say wouldn’t happen if it weren’t for the fact that I know you can pull strings. Someone is definitely working for you in the Bureau and they’ll make sure that you get what you want. At least you’ll be a good dad even if you’re a fucking criminal.” His anger is slowing, wearing off as Jared vents and releases all of it. And Jensen at this point is just breathing and rocking behind him.

Once Jared has it all out, once he’s just a puddle against Jensen’s strong chest, lips gently brush his neck in the spot that Jensen once told him was the one he dreamed of biting. There are no teeth, and Jared is infinitely glad that Jensen is who he is. Most alphas would inform an omega that their freedom was done for once a baby was in the equation.

“I don’t. At least not in your office.” He sounds annoyed, and that takes a second to break through Jared’s haze.

“You what? What now?” Jared tries to turn but Jensen gently holds his chin and moves him so that the back of his head is against Jensen’s shoulder and Jensen’s lips are at his temple.

“I own the Assistant Director in this area, but nobody in your office. I used to have a plant to watch you, but he quit.”

Jared goes through all the alphas that have quit during his tenure, but then understands the tone a little better. “Bastard. Chris. Chris works for you.”

“Worked. When you got your promotion he informed me you hired him and he took that rather seriously.” Now Jensen’s annoyance is full on frustration. Which lets Jared know that it is very fucking real. Mr. Unstoppable Criminal Force lost a probably very well-paid plant to a government salary because of…what?

“He took it seriously? What does that mean?”

“It means he came to my office and told me I could shoot him if I wanted but you trusted him and he wasn’t gonna break that trust. He’d rather work for you.” Jensen’s breath is choppy for just a second before he nuzzles Jared’s temple and takes a deep whiff. “He was close to dying too. For a second I thought he was telling me he wanted to court you, but he made me understand. He just thought you were a more worthy leader. I can admit when I’m wanting.”

Jared can’t even begin to wrap his mind around all of these truths, so he shoves the deeper implications to the side and focuses on the most important thing. “None of the rest of it changes.”

“Sure it does. Because you have a professional hitter as your second in command and the head of the largest organized crime ring in the Southwestern United States wrapped around your little finger. I know you like to be mad at me for what you think was me using you to knock off competition, but that was never what it was. I would’ve gotten to this position one way or another, I just didn’t want to see you die. But now. Now you’re carrying us.” Jensen’s hand slides out, pressing against Jared’s lower belly gently with the tips of this fingers weaving little patterns. “And I can promise you this, sweetheart. I’ll burn the goddamn world before you suffer for that any more than biology requires you to, and I’ll die before you do penance for my sins.”

Jared breathes out, slow and even, settling further into the hold Jensen has on him and the hand gently rubbing at his stomach.

“I believe you.”

“So, you have a thing you have to do. If you wanna keep your hands clean, and I want you to, lend me your boy. I’ll make sure that they don’t find out the real father and you get to keep locking up bad guys and being the hero as soon as the baby is born. Your career won’t take a hit unless the Assistant Director wants everybody to know how much he loves nose candy.”

“He what? Jensen! He’s in charge of a huge area of the Bureau and he has access to a ton of information and drugs. Why would you tell me he’s not only an irresponsible criminal but being blackmailed?”

Jensen shrugs, temporarily dislodging Jared’s head before settling him back into place. “Because I figure you’ll earn his job in the next year or two, so what does it matter? I’m already working on somebody with more pull anyway.”

And he can’t help it. No matter how fucked it is or how he shouldn’t Jared laughs at that. Laughs until he clenches too hard and starts the sex part back up hard and fast.

When they were just getting started Jared was so annoyed by Jensen that it was like there was something living under his skin. No one before or since has ever been able to get so deep into Jared’s psyche so quickly. From the first moment that Jensen took his hand, grip just the right side of a try at intimidation, Jared knew that this was a guy that was going to make him absolutely fucking crazy.

The Bureau wouldn’t pull back on their decision that Jared needed a bodyguard, and Jared wouldn’t pull back on the decision to hate whoever was given the terrible job of watching him. This had left them at a serious impasse, since Jared also got the hint that Jensen really wanted to be liked while also really wanting to be in charge of Jared’s safety. There would be arguments between them that probably scared Jared’s neighbors and certainly sent his dogs into fits of barking and interjecting, unsure who was the real danger to the other.

Another thing that had annoyed Jared from the word go, both of his dogs loved Jensen to pieces the second they met him.

If there was anything or anyone that could have ever had a better chance at Jared jumping out of his skin and shucking all of his carefully put together gravitas it was knowing that Jensen was so likable even Jared’s tribal leaning dogs immediately brought him in. Now, lying in Jensen’s bed and feeling the warm pillow under his face shift with every one of Jensen’s little sleep movements, Jared better understands why stoic and reserved Chris approved of Jensen. That doesn’t really explain the rest of the people in his life. Or does it?

When it comes to criminals Jensen isn’t the worst one, that’s for certain, but Jared has to figure out what that means to him. What does accepting a criminal into his life mean for Jared the FBI agent? For Jared the clean-cut hero? For Jared who has never even jay-walked? Is that really ok? Is he ready to have a life that’s grayscale instead of black or white?

It was one thing when it was just the two of them fucking each other like crazy. It was fine when Jared thought that Jensen was a bodyguard and not the soon to be king of the border mafias. A position that was helped by Jared busting all the other bosses in the area, and Jared believes that wasn’t Jensen’s purpose but he can’t ignore it. He can’t wash his hands of that. And what about that bothers him the most anyway? Is it Jensen being unable to back out and be above board like Jared, or is it that Jared is actually kind of happy to know that it’s Jensen now who pulls the strings?

Not a perfect man, certainly not a great one, but a good one. A good alpha. No sex trafficking under Jensen’s watch, no human slavery, and no mass killings. And for as much work as Jared had done to put all those previous fuckers behind bars, Jensen had worked just as hard to keep Jared alive. He didn’t need to, Jared knew that now, but he did. He did it all for Jared, took pain and damage for Jared, let his men know that an FBI agent and omega was leading him around by the knot, and never once asked for anything from Jared in return.

There had never been a point where Jensen insisted that Jared had to do anything but be himself. A hand brushes his flat stomach again and Jared thinks of the future. Of the kicking and the swelling and the danger that will come with it. Not just to his career, but because no matter how thorough he was before there is no promising that the past won’t come back to get him. And if Jensen is wrong and someone finds out that Jared’s carrying his baby while he’s not protected…

Jared takes a deep breath, pulling in the smell of Jensen and his bed, and then presses his face into the pillow and tries to control the rising panic. When he’s got it there he pulls loose gently from Jensen’s hold, mutters back to relax when Jensen sleepily tells him not to be gone long, and then throws on his clothes and heads down the stairs and out the door. Once he’s all the way to his car Jared pauses to see if there’s going to be fallout or Jensen will keep sleeping. The wait allows him to look at the morning sun rising slowly over the horizon. It lets him know that there’s going to be more beyond this and he can stand in front of it.

Maybe not through it, but in front of it.

Chris meets Jared at his apartment. The man has the decency to look ashamed even if the expression is hardly coming through his typical stoic façade. He sits on Jared’s steps and lights a cigarette before seeming to remember that Jared is pregnant and silently offering to put it out. Jared shakes his head and stands upwind.

“So. You work for the enemy.”

“He’s not your enemy, but no. I work for you.” Chris never breaks eye contact or shrinks. He is perfectly calm. “I have worked for you for a long time.”

“Why? I don’t get it. Why give up the paycheck and the protection to work for a fucking Fed you were laughing at in private?” And maybe it’s indicative of being pregnant and having hormone shifts, or maybe it’s just because after seeing Jensen, Jared’s shields are down enough, but tears well up in his eyes and Jared is overwhelmed with emotions.

“I never laughed at you.” Chris doesn’t move towards him. Doesn’t even twitch. Jared still feels like he’s come closer somehow. “I didn’t want to watch you and my then boss told me I had to. I got to know you. I respect you. I wanted to keep doing good things under you.”

“Phrasing.”

Chris surprises him by laughing so hard he drops his cigarette. He crushes it under his heel before standing up and wiping at his eyes. “See that? You’re still just a good guy. And maybe I’ve done enough at this point I wanted to be that too.”

“You wanna come in?”

“Yeah.” Chris steps back and lets Jared past him and then follows him in so they can sit at the table. So that Jared can consider all of his options.

“Would you pretend? To be the dad? Did he talk to you about that option first, or did he just offer it and figure you would obey?”

Chris smiles, a little wistfully, and pushes his long hair back off of his face. “I’ll pretend. But I’m gonna require something in return.”

“What’s that?” Jared feels tense, stomach curling and roiling as he thinks of all the things that Chris could ask for.

“In private, where we’re being honest, I wanna be the uncle.”

“You can be the godparent.”

Chris beams, big and bright, and it’s the first time in all the years that Jared has known him that he’s seen something like this. It’s catching, but more importantly it takes a little weight off Jared’s shoulders and shifts it to the front of his mind where it belongs. He smiles back, and then starts digging in his fridge for something that counts as real food and that Chris can enjoy.

After they’ve eaten and Chris has run down everything that’s happening in the office and received direction from Jared on how to handle all the next steps his second in command and potentially fake baby daddy heads back to handle all of his orders while Jared takes a long shower and then collapses into his bed.

He falls asleep and wakes up surrounded in Jensen. Jared stays very still, absorbing this new information, while Jensen mutters unhappily. He’s never done this before, and Jared gets that Jensen is unaware that Jared has woken up.

“Please don’t fucking close me out of this. I know you’re mad at me but please don’t. Please let me have my family.” Over and over again against Jared’s hair. Jared stays still listening to it for so long that he falls asleep again.

When Jared wakes up again there is food in front of him and a Jensen sitting behind him with his back to the wall. He looks so young and vulnerable. It’s a face Jared has never seen on him before.

“Listen, Jared-“

“I want to ask you if there’s something that you can do. Like, it may be asking too much but it’s a thing I want to do and if you can pull it off I think we should. Do it.” Jared trails off at the hurt on Jensen’s face.

“What you need, I’ll give.” Jensen’s body is tight, frightened, again more things that Jared has never seen. And they’re all because of him.

“As far as the Bureau is concerned, at least the part of it that’s never been on your payroll or in your bed, you’re still a private and law-abiding citizen. Unless someone is watching you that I don’t know about?”

Jensen is visibly confused. “Yes? Last I checked that’s the best way to operate.”

“Well, then instead of switching things up so that I have a fake baby daddy-“

“Please. Please don’t ever use that phrase again.” Jensen rubs at his temple sullenly as Jared laughs.

“Instead of faking medical records to give the baby a parent that it doesn’t have, why don’t you use a fake front for your position so we can be mates?”

Silence rolls out between them, echoing against the walls and pressing on Jared’s heart until he no longer feels his pulse racing just the pressure of the silence. And then finally Jensen crawls over the bed until he is actually pressing Jared down and then takes a little lick of his lips before kissing Jared. They stay that way for a long time, Jared pressing back on Jensen’s hard and hungry kisses, until finally the sound of Jared’s stomach growling is too loud for them to ignore. Jensen groans against his neck and then moves out of the way. “Eat. Please eat. Cause I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you before I bite you.”

Jared hums and starts digging into the breakfast Jensen brought as he watches his mate staring at him just as hungrily.