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The Finish Line
Dec. 13th, 2012 01:18 pmRunning now on less than four hours of sleep and a completely overwhelming sense of apathy I am sure that there is no way I can fail. There are only ten to twelve pages of academic nonsense to spit out at this point, and that would not be problematic except I need a thesis before I can begin to bullshit.
When I finally went to bed at 6 AM I was high on the rush of finishing the page length regarding sixties horror cinema, and that felt great, but then I had this wacky nightmare and woke up. Since this is my venting space I am going to detail my nightmare, which I've long since learned is a fruitless endeavor, but since I've checked the paper and assured myself it was just a subconscious construction the fear is gone. I dreamed,this sounds silly as I write it, that I was so loopy this morning as I banged out the last five pages that I started putting fanfiction narrative into an academic discussion. In the nightmare I was revising the damn thing before emailing it off and I realized eight pages of it was a loopy story in which I was discussing with the Winchesters the value of destroying hetero-normative plots in vampire movies. It certainly doesn't help my credibility here that in the story I was drunk and I kept pointing an accusing finger at Dean and shouting that zombies had no sexual orientation so why should vampires? Sam spent the majority of the story nodding thoughtfully while shooting the "crazy person" look at his brother.
I used to do dream analysis for some of my co-workers, and I can pretty well guess what this one was about even if I don't particularly care for the implications it makes regarding my confidence levels. Or obsession with getting fanfiction written. If I can just finish this paper and then do all the baking for the family Christmas party Saturday I can get back to making slightly plotty porn, but that seems like such a wide divide. Plus I'm technically starting this paper early, or early in the relative sense of my usual procrastination tendencies.
I'm such a slacker...
When I finally went to bed at 6 AM I was high on the rush of finishing the page length regarding sixties horror cinema, and that felt great, but then I had this wacky nightmare and woke up. Since this is my venting space I am going to detail my nightmare, which I've long since learned is a fruitless endeavor, but since I've checked the paper and assured myself it was just a subconscious construction the fear is gone. I dreamed,this sounds silly as I write it, that I was so loopy this morning as I banged out the last five pages that I started putting fanfiction narrative into an academic discussion. In the nightmare I was revising the damn thing before emailing it off and I realized eight pages of it was a loopy story in which I was discussing with the Winchesters the value of destroying hetero-normative plots in vampire movies. It certainly doesn't help my credibility here that in the story I was drunk and I kept pointing an accusing finger at Dean and shouting that zombies had no sexual orientation so why should vampires? Sam spent the majority of the story nodding thoughtfully while shooting the "crazy person" look at his brother.
I used to do dream analysis for some of my co-workers, and I can pretty well guess what this one was about even if I don't particularly care for the implications it makes regarding my confidence levels. Or obsession with getting fanfiction written. If I can just finish this paper and then do all the baking for the family Christmas party Saturday I can get back to making slightly plotty porn, but that seems like such a wide divide. Plus I'm technically starting this paper early, or early in the relative sense of my usual procrastination tendencies.
I'm such a slacker...
